How it all began

I was on the phone to a lady the other day who was enquiring about our singing dance and drama program and I found myself telling her our story from the very beginning, Beccy and I are opera singers when we aren't teaching but our kids were never really stage kids. They love singing, they are always singing but the aren’t those kids that just have to be on stage under the lights with the costume. They never really had the desire to be centre stage they just wanted to be involved. We wanted to find an outlet for their love of the theatre but it was really hard to find something that wasn't really strict, that didn't require a uniform, that was a no pressure environment. The big bug bear for me was the end of year concertand the awards. As parents we once attended a drama program’s end of year concert that went for 4 hours. I’ll say that again 4 hours. I was dying. 

at the end of the night they gave out awards. There were 30 kids and 20 kids got an award for something or other. My kid of course was one of the kids who came home empty handed. 

That’s why we decided on no hierarchy and really really mercifully short concerts. Regular Yes but short. If your experience is a good one you don't mind regularly attending. Even though I create kids concerts, I still hate going to them. I can sometimes dread them for days. That’s because they are too long. If you have to have an interval in a kids concert then the concert is too long. I would just have a couple of smaller concerts on different nights so you don’t have to watch everyone else. When putting on a concert you have a responsibility to your audience to make it run really smoothly to cut down the time that person is sitting there. 

Friends of our suggested we start our own school. We shrugged it off at first but when our kids found out that it was a possibility there was a sense of excitement in the air. To be quite frank the idea of creating a program for kids in the local area was scary. I would have much rather done it in an area where no one knew us that way, if it failed we could have disappeared without a trace. But we created it in Balwyn where we live and a lot of kids who knew us came and it was kind of exciting.

I used a lot of props when we first started laser lights and smoke machines, story books with pictures that kind of thing. That had it’s place but over time I realised that it’s really about the imagination. More and more I asked the kids to create things in their minds. 

We also played a lot of musical games then which we don't do so much of now. I often ask myself before I plan a song or game “ DO I want to sing this? Does this game sound fun to me?” It really is trial and error. Some activities seem so utterly lame and i’ll try it and the kids love it . 

We play this game sometimes called Battle of the air bands. It’s like an air guitar competition but with a whole band.  Kids form bands and come up on stage and the group that rocks out the best wins. It’s one of those activities where if there are parents in the room I wonder what they are thinking. Imagine “where’s the educational value in this…”  The value is in standing up and making a twit of yourself in front of people and getting applause. 

Face front and the clutch

““Face front. Face the front. Cheat it out. We need to see your face. We got your back for most of that you have to face the audience. You don't need to look at him. I know it sounds weird but you don’t need to look at him when you speak to him.” Then theres “ I didn't hear any of that . Don't forget that there’s an audience if we don't hear that word the joke won’t make sense.. Say it into the microphone. Yes good but say it clearly into the microphone. Yes but face the front.  If this was on TV that would be perfect. Perfect.! But we are in a theatre so it’s got to be a lot bigger. Think of it as sharing the conversation with the person at the back of the room. GO! Face front, speak clearly, share it with the room, Into the microphone. Keep up the pace. It’s got to be quick or you’ll loose them.” 

I drive my car I every day. I get to a place and don't remember the journey. But remember learning to drive?. Speed limit. Lights. Parking. Indicate, no one in your blind spot. Starting on a hill. clutch. Oh my, the clutch!  I fired my first driving instructor for lack of patience. My foot shook on the accelerator for a year after I got my license. It takes time. They are doing their best. You have to be patient.

Top 15 excuses for not doing your homework

15    I lost it fighting a kid who said you're not the best teacher in the world

14        I’m batman 

13    A kid borrowed it to copy it and didn't give it back  

12    We find didn't have any toilet paper and dad had a runny bottom  

11    I Posted it to you didn't you get it? Australia post these days.

10    oh it must have fallen out of my bag! What a shame. 

9    My dad forgot to do it for me.  

8    the wind blew it our of my hands. I chased it for hours.  That’s why I'm late too.  

7    I didn't want you to have to mark it. You work hard enough.  

6    You said “ do Questions 1 - 10” you didn't say bring it in! 

5    The cleaning lady threw it away. It was good too.

4    I got soap in my eyes and was blinded for the rest of the night.

3    I gave it to the emergency teacher. I hope she gave it to you 

2.     A: I use a solar powered calculator

    B: So What?

    A: It was cloudy   

1.     What homework?  

Scripts Middle group

ABC

A: How did you go in your end of year exams 

B: I got an A, B and a C

A: Well done!!!

B: Thanks. 

A: And what other letters do you think you will learn next year

Dinosaur

Teacher : Imagine you were in a world of dinosaurs. and they dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

Kid : Err.. stop imagining?

Element of surprise

Teacher: Right. get out your physics books everyone. Ok Jenny can you give me an example of an element? 11311

Jenny:  RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: ahhhhhhhh! what. was. that? 

Jenny. “That” was the element of surprise.

Mean but fair

Mum: Hi how was your first day how would you describe your teacher.

Kid: She’s mean and cruel …but fair 

Mum: Meanand cruel but fair? what do you mean by that?

Kid: SHe’s mean and cruelto everyone.

Abstract noun

Teacher: AN abstract noun is something you can think of but you cant touch. Can you give me an example of an abstract noun.

Kid: Dads car.

scare his parents

Dad:  Can I see your report card?

Kid: No. My mate borrowed it.

Dad: Your mate borrowed your report card? why did he do that?

Kid: He wanted to scare his parents

Prayers

Teacher : Do you say your prayers before dinner?

Kid: No I don’t have to.

Teacher and why not?

Kid: My mum’s a good cook

Life after death

Kid: Excuse me miss, Is there life after death?

Teacher: Hmm well err…. Why do you ask 

Kid: I need the extra time to finish all ofthe homework you gave us.

AMEN

Teacher: never use “A” before a plural. For example you don't say “a cows.”

Pupil: but why does the preacher say Amen!

READ

teacher: what does your history book tell you about the civil war

Kid: It didn't tell me anything. I had to read the dam thing!

God

Teacher: What are you drawing Nelly?

Nelly: Im drawing a picture of god?

Teacher: Oh dear Nelly. NO one knows what god looks like..

Nelly: well, they will in a minute.

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We did a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.

Mark: That’s right! A guessing game

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher?

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". 

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

This is for the singers and the teachers....

i believe whole heartedly that there is so much opportunity around at the moment. I look around me and see people with incredible life experience, incredible talent  and no where to go. I'm reminded of a documentary I saw about Russian pianists that could never leave the country. They couldn't make enough out of performing In Russia and they couldn't  leave, so they taught and then their best students couldn't make enough money performing, so they taught, and so on and so on. The best talent taught.  Their students had no where to go so they taught and their protégés were absolute freaks. It was like a little pressure cooker. Eventually the Berlin Wall came down and later communism fell and there was an explosion of Eastern European and Russian talent that infiltrated the Western world. And it shook the Opera world. Suddenly Covent Garden could employ world class singers for next to nix. All over the place wages fell. That’s the Readers digest version

 I was talking to a singer today who sang at Covent Garden who told me about  that very thing. He noticed that the work was disappearing for singers in London and all over Europe due to an explosion of singers from Russia, East Germany, Hungary etc. I digress. I personally over the arc of my tiny career can see so many amazingly talented people wasted. I think there is opportunity in harnessing the talent of those people who have achieved incredible things. There are people all around us who have incredible amounts of knowledge and experience and are just wasted. I think teaching should be built in to every profession. Every footballer should teach . every singer should teach. every what ever should teach to refine their skills and to pass it on to the next generation. 

Little kids fundamentals

By the time we are  adults we have  learned  by osmosis a sense of stage craft.  Most adults just have a sense that you need to include your audience. We just know that if you are delivering a small two handed dialogue to the audience that you turn out. You cheat it out so the audience catches what you are saying, they get your facial expressions etc. Its so funny working with kids especially the really little ones, they have absolutely no sense of what it means including and audience. I often find myself saying to kids “ that would have been perfect if we were making a film or an episode of a tv show bit this is different. My mantra seems to be “On stage you don’t always have to look at the person you are talking to.” The other thing little kids find really hard is delivering simple dialogue audibly. I forget that all of this stuff is so new to them. its just so new. Really hard to do. It takes an incredible amount of precision to make sure a sentence is clear to a room of people and to make sure you are facing in the right direction and to be able to have enthusiasm and energy and character on top of all that. its a really big ask! Its brings me back to the best way to teach is by letting them do. When i was at Uni I had a singing teacher who said the key is little and often. Once a term a 20 minute concert. I really think thats the best way to do it. Each kid will probably get ( I’m just talking about the little ones ) a couple of lines of dialogue. but that’s enough. Any more would be too much.

how do you teach kids to act?

I find the best way to teach kids drama is by letting them do. If there's too much to read or remember it gets in the way. So often at kids performances it looks like an exercise in learning lines. I think it's got to be more about the craft of theatre. I think keep concerts short. A long kids concert isn't fun for any one. As a parent watching long concerts I used to joke that I would buy a pair of glasses with fake eyes inside the rims like Homer Simpson wears. That way I could get a couple of hours sleep while at the concert. Wonderful father I know. 

My solution is to focus on sketch comedy. Usually we create them in class and develop them throughout the term. I have never laughed so much. It's amazing how much you can tinker with a skit that consists of only five or so lines. It's utterly humbling to see what kids come up with. Quite often where we start is lame to be kind and pretty funny at the end. The other great thing about making comedy your focus is that after every skit there is a payoff. That wonderful release when  the audience gets hit with the punch line. The kids come off stage and know  " that went really well. "

Sometimes the best way to create a skit is to start with a question and answer joke. 
Joke : why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

A: because she always ran away from the ball! 


Skit 
Coach: Cinderella!!!
(Cinderella enters singing a dream is a wish your heart makes )

Cinderella: yes coach.?

Coach: Cinderella!!!!!your off the soccer team! 

Cinderella: But why coach? 

Coach: You always run away from the ball.!


Now, two six year old kids could learn that pretty much immediately. The words are taken care of. From here you can really explore the craft of theatre.  One of the simplest rules that I teach is that in the theatre and quite often in the real world we don't always look at the person we are talking to. Kids find that so difficult to do but it can really shut down the skit. This is an immidiate cause of closing off and backs to the audience. It can also be a real encourager for mumbling. Most of the time I explain it like this -be polite enough to include the audience in your conversation.

I try to keep props to an absolute minimum. It's really fun to work sround needing a prop. The fun can really be compounded when a kid miimes a balloon or arrives in a pretend car. No props really encourages stage craft. 

Which brings me to costumes. One again absolute bare minimum. no parent wants to have to find a costume for s kid or worse have to make one. Then one kid arrives in a little red riding hood bought from eBay with a bloomers and a basket and another kid arrives in granddad jacket saying look at me I'm fagin. 


When parents ask what to wear at the concert. Black. 


We spend slot of time with on improv. There are thousands of games cirvlcle games and team building exercises that encourage cooperation and communication and working as a group. 




Less is more. 
One of the things I have learned in my career as a performer is that less is so often more. I think that is true in so many aspects of life. Even in the way that we have constructed extraordinary kids. Small classes more attention Small concerts equals more performances. No paraphernalia, no dance shoes, costumes, uniforms ect. How can we do more with less? 

Someone said to me recently good directors don't seem to add much. They just take things away. It's so true with performing. If it doesn't serve the script take it away.  First you need to ask everyone to just brain fart. get all ideas then take away what doesn't serve.