ABC
A: How did you go in your end of year exams
B: I got an A, B and a C
A: Well done!!!
B: Thanks.
A: And what other letters do you think you will learn next year
Dinosaur
Teacher : Imagine you were in a world of dinosaurs. and they dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?
Kid : Err.. stop imagining?
Element of surprise
Teacher: Right. get out your physics books everyone. Ok Jenny can you give me an example of an element? 11311
Jenny: RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Teacher: ahhhhhhhh! what. was. that?
Jenny. “That” was the element of surprise.
Mean but fair
Mum: Hi how was your first day how would you describe your teacher.
Kid: She’s mean and cruel …but fair
Mum: Meanand cruel but fair? what do you mean by that?
Kid: SHe’s mean and cruelto everyone.
Abstract noun
Teacher: AN abstract noun is something you can think of but you cant touch. Can you give me an example of an abstract noun.
Kid: Dads car.
scare his parents
Dad: Can I see your report card?
Kid: No. My mate borrowed it.
Dad: Your mate borrowed your report card? why did he do that?
Kid: He wanted to scare his parents
Prayers
Teacher : Do you say your prayers before dinner?
Kid: No I don’t have to.
Teacher and why not?
Kid: My mum’s a good cook
Life after death
Kid: Excuse me miss, Is there life after death?
Teacher: Hmm well err…. Why do you ask
Kid: I need the extra time to finish all ofthe homework you gave us.
AMEN
Teacher: never use “A” before a plural. For example you don't say “a cows.”
Pupil: but why does the preacher say Amen!
READ
teacher: what does your history book tell you about the civil war
Kid: It didn't tell me anything. I had to read the dam thing!
God
Teacher: What are you drawing Nelly?
Nelly: Im drawing a picture of god?
Teacher: Oh dear Nelly. NO one knows what god looks like..
Nelly: well, they will in a minute.
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right! A guessing game
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”
Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher?
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”
Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”