How it all began

I was on the phone to a lady the other day who was enquiring about our singing dance and drama program and I found myself telling her our story from the very beginning, Beccy and I are opera singers when we aren't teaching but our kids were never really stage kids. They love singing, they are always singing but the aren’t those kids that just have to be on stage under the lights with the costume. They never really had the desire to be centre stage they just wanted to be involved. We wanted to find an outlet for their love of the theatre but it was really hard to find something that wasn't really strict, that didn't require a uniform, that was a no pressure environment. The big bug bear for me was the end of year concertand the awards. As parents we once attended a drama program’s end of year concert that went for 4 hours. I’ll say that again 4 hours. I was dying. 

at the end of the night they gave out awards. There were 30 kids and 20 kids got an award for something or other. My kid of course was one of the kids who came home empty handed. 

 

That’s why we decided on no hierarchy and really really mercifully short concerts. Regular Yes but short. If your experience is a good one you don't mind regularly attending. Even though I create kids concerts, I still hate going to them. I can sometimes dread them for days. That’s because they are too long. If you have to have an interval in a kids concert then the concert is too long. I would just have a couple of smaller concerts on different nights so you don’t have to watch everyone else. When putting on a concert you have a responsibility to your audience to make it run really smoothly to cut down the time that person is sitting there. 

 

Friends of our suggested we start our own school. We shrugged it off at first but when our kids found out that it was a possibility there was a sense of excitement in the air. To be quite frank the idea of creating a program for kids in the local area was scary. I would have much rather done it in an area where no one knew us that way, if it failed we could have disappeared without a trace. But we created it in Balwyn where we live and a lot of kids who knew us came and it was kind of exciting.

 

 

I used a lot of props when we first started laser lights and smoke machines, story books with pictures that kind of thing. That had it’s place but over time I realised that it’s really about the imagination. More and more I asked the kids to create things in their minds. 

 

We also played a lot of musical games then which we don't do so much of now. I often ask myself before I plan a song or game “ DO I want to sing this? Does this game sound fun to me?” It really is trial and error. Some activities seem so utterly lame and i’ll try it and the kids love it . 

 

We play this game sometimes called Battle of the air bands. It’s like an air guitar competition but with a whole band.  Kids form bands and come up on stage and the group that rocks out the best wins. It’s one of those activities where if there are parents in the room I wonder what they are thinking. Imagine “where’s the educational value in this…”  The value is in standing up and making a twit of yourself in front of people and getting applause. 

Top 15 excuses for not doing your homework

 

 

15    I lost it fighting a kid who said you're not the best teacher in the world

 

14        I’m batman 

 

13    A kid borrowed it to copy it and didn't give it back  

 

 

12    We find didn't have any toilet paper and dad had a runny bottom  

 

 

 

11    I Posted it to you didn't you get it? Australia post these days.

 

 

10    oh it must have fallen out of my bag! What a shame. 

 

 

 

9    My dad forgot to do it for me.  

 

 

 

8    the wind blew it our of my hands. I chased it for hours.  That’s why I'm late too.  

 

 

7    I didn't want you to have to mark it. You work hard enough.  

 

 

6    You said “ do Questions 1 - 10” you didn't say bring it in! 

 

 

5    The cleaning lady threw it away. It was good too.

 

4    I got soap in my eyes and was blinded for the rest of the night.

 

 

3    I gave it to the emergency teacher. I hope she gave it to you 

 

2.     A: I use a solar powered calculator

    B: So What?

    A: It was cloudy   

 

1.     What homework?  

Scripts Middle group

 

ABC

 

A: How did you go in your end of year exams 

B: I got an A, B and a C

A: Well done!!!

B: Thanks. 

A: And what other letters do you think you will learn next year

 

 

 

 

Dinosaur

Teacher : Imagine you were in a world of dinosaurs. and they dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

 

Kid : Err.. stop imagining?

 

 

 

 

Element of surprise

 

Teacher: Right. get out your physics books everyone. Ok Jenny can you give me an example of an element? 11311

 

Jenny:  RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

 

Teacher: ahhhhhhhh! what. was. that? 

 

Jenny. “That” was the element of surprise.

 

 

 

Mean but fair

 

Mum: Hi how was your first day how would you describe your teacher.

Kid: She’s mean and cruel …but fair 

Mum: Meanand cruel but fair? what do you mean by that?

Kid: SHe’s mean and cruelto everyone.

 

 

Abstract noun

 

Teacher: AN abstract noun is something you can think of but you cant touch. Can you give me an example of an abstract noun.

 

Kid: Dads car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

scare his parents

 

Dad:  Can I see your report card?

Kid: No. My mate borrowed it.

Dad: Your mate borrowed your report card? why did he do that?

Kid: He wanted to scare his parents

 

 

 

Prayers

 

Teacher : Do you say your prayers before dinner?

Kid: No I don’t have to.

Teacher and why not?

Kid: My mum’s a good cook

 

 

 

 

 

Life after death

Kid: Excuse me miss, Is there life after death?

Teacher: Hmm well err…. Why do you ask 

Kid: I need the extra time to finish all ofthe homework you gave us.

 

 

AMEN

 

Teacher: never use “A” before a plural. For example you don't say “a cows.”

Pupil: but why does the preacher say Amen!

 

 

 

READ

teacher: what does your history book tell you about the civil war

Kid: It didn't tell me anything. I had to read the dam thing!

 

 

 

 

God

Teacher: What are you drawing Nelly?

Nelly: Im drawing a picture of god?

Teacher: Oh dear Nelly. NO one knows what god looks like..

Nelly: well, they will in a minute.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We did a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.

Mark: That’s right! A guessing game

 

 

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

 

 

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher?

 

 

 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". 

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 

 

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

 

Why don't we teach humour in school?

Why don't we teach humour in schools? In some ways I think humour is one of the most important commodities around. If you make the receptionist laugh you’re much more likely to talk to his or her boss.  The best advertising campaigns i can think of all were really funny. Humour stays with you . You remember funny things for a long time. I know I’m constantly trying to preserve my funniest memories because i don't want to loose them. Don't you just hate it when you come up against some one who just has no sense of humour?  I don't remember a single lesson in school, even drama that talked about the awesome power of humour. 

Sketch comedy

No one seems to be writing anymore. Especially sketch comedy. I remember the days of Monty Python. Brillant timeless scripts.  Or Comic strip presents with the likes of Ben Elton and Rick Mayall, or Little Britain.  Genuinely funny stuff. One of my goals over the next few years is to get kids to write. I think in years to come anyone who can generate content will prosper. Anyone who can make something that doesn't already exist on the net will have something of value. 

 

I’m starting with comedy. Im thinking a Saturday night live sort of a feel. When I was living in London a few years ago  I did a thing called News Review upstairs of the canal cafe. We met for a few hours a day and rehearsed scripts that independent writers had contributed. It was always based  around something that had happened in the news. We prided ourselves on “shockingly bad taste” that’s what someone said about it in a review. We would perform from Thursday though to Sunday and the content was constantly changing. I remember I always just barely knew my words. There was a constant terror that I was going to forget what would come next. The audience were so on your side and everything was so hit and miss. It was exhilarating. And brilliant training for an actor.

 

Scripts were sent in. If the writers script made it into the show they were paid for the script (beer money)  and often the actors would contribute  scripts as well. We would spend the day workshopping the ideas in the scripts. It was usually a synergy of ideas that made the script work. It was never one person’s thing. We always built on each others ideas. That happens a lot at EK. I bring in a really simple joke. The human cannon ball got fired….from his job… Then we would flesh out the characters. A boss and a human cannon ball. Then the human cannon ball  gets a personality. She rolls everywhere she goes. When she arrives she rolls forward. When she leaves she rolls backwards. The reason she is fired from her job develops. Eating too much and is too heavy for the gun. All of these contributions from different kids. The skit develops a life. There is a something now where there was just an idea before. 

 

So Im kicking around an idea for a comedy club for teens. I would have loved something like this when i was a kid. Kids are encouraged to bring in ideas and together we can flesh them out. It could an idea about politicians taking helicopter rides to parties for example. Obviously Im going to have to be careful with keeping the content suitable. Every few weeks or so we can have a little soiree with parents and friends etc.  It would just be so great to see a seed like that grow. It would be so great to empower teens to  do that sort of thing. Watch this space :)