Scripts Middle group

ABC

A: How did you go in your end of year exams 

B: I got an A, B and a C

A: Well done!!!

B: Thanks. 

A: And what other letters do you think you will learn next year

Dinosaur

Teacher : Imagine you were in a world of dinosaurs. and they dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

Kid : Err.. stop imagining?

Element of surprise

Teacher: Right. get out your physics books everyone. Ok Jenny can you give me an example of an element? 11311

Jenny:  RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: ahhhhhhhh! what. was. that? 

Jenny. “That” was the element of surprise.

Mean but fair

Mum: Hi how was your first day how would you describe your teacher.

Kid: She’s mean and cruel …but fair 

Mum: Meanand cruel but fair? what do you mean by that?

Kid: SHe’s mean and cruelto everyone.

Abstract noun

Teacher: AN abstract noun is something you can think of but you cant touch. Can you give me an example of an abstract noun.

Kid: Dads car.

scare his parents

Dad:  Can I see your report card?

Kid: No. My mate borrowed it.

Dad: Your mate borrowed your report card? why did he do that?

Kid: He wanted to scare his parents

Prayers

Teacher : Do you say your prayers before dinner?

Kid: No I don’t have to.

Teacher and why not?

Kid: My mum’s a good cook

Life after death

Kid: Excuse me miss, Is there life after death?

Teacher: Hmm well err…. Why do you ask 

Kid: I need the extra time to finish all ofthe homework you gave us.

AMEN

Teacher: never use “A” before a plural. For example you don't say “a cows.”

Pupil: but why does the preacher say Amen!

READ

teacher: what does your history book tell you about the civil war

Kid: It didn't tell me anything. I had to read the dam thing!

God

Teacher: What are you drawing Nelly?

Nelly: Im drawing a picture of god?

Teacher: Oh dear Nelly. NO one knows what god looks like..

Nelly: well, they will in a minute.

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We did a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.

Mark: That’s right! A guessing game

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Student: A teacher?

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". 

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”

Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”

how do you teach kids to act?

I find the best way to teach kids drama is by letting them do. If there's too much to read or remember it gets in the way. So often at kids performances it looks like an exercise in learning lines. I think it's got to be more about the craft of theatre. I think keep concerts short. A long kids concert isn't fun for any one. As a parent watching long concerts I used to joke that I would buy a pair of glasses with fake eyes inside the rims like Homer Simpson wears. That way I could get a couple of hours sleep while at the concert. Wonderful father I know. 

My solution is to focus on sketch comedy. Usually we create them in class and develop them throughout the term. I have never laughed so much. It's amazing how much you can tinker with a skit that consists of only five or so lines. It's utterly humbling to see what kids come up with. Quite often where we start is lame to be kind and pretty funny at the end. The other great thing about making comedy your focus is that after every skit there is a payoff. That wonderful release when  the audience gets hit with the punch line. The kids come off stage and know  " that went really well. "

Sometimes the best way to create a skit is to start with a question and answer joke. 
Joke : why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

A: because she always ran away from the ball! 


Skit 
Coach: Cinderella!!!
(Cinderella enters singing a dream is a wish your heart makes )

Cinderella: yes coach.?

Coach: Cinderella!!!!!your off the soccer team! 

Cinderella: But why coach? 

Coach: You always run away from the ball.!


Now, two six year old kids could learn that pretty much immediately. The words are taken care of. From here you can really explore the craft of theatre.  One of the simplest rules that I teach is that in the theatre and quite often in the real world we don't always look at the person we are talking to. Kids find that so difficult to do but it can really shut down the skit. This is an immidiate cause of closing off and backs to the audience. It can also be a real encourager for mumbling. Most of the time I explain it like this -be polite enough to include the audience in your conversation.

I try to keep props to an absolute minimum. It's really fun to work sround needing a prop. The fun can really be compounded when a kid miimes a balloon or arrives in a pretend car. No props really encourages stage craft. 

Which brings me to costumes. One again absolute bare minimum. no parent wants to have to find a costume for s kid or worse have to make one. Then one kid arrives in a little red riding hood bought from eBay with a bloomers and a basket and another kid arrives in granddad jacket saying look at me I'm fagin. 


When parents ask what to wear at the concert. Black. 


We spend slot of time with on improv. There are thousands of games cirvlcle games and team building exercises that encourage cooperation and communication and working as a group. 




Less is more. 
One of the things I have learned in my career as a performer is that less is so often more. I think that is true in so many aspects of life. Even in the way that we have constructed extraordinary kids. Small classes more attention Small concerts equals more performances. No paraphernalia, no dance shoes, costumes, uniforms ect. How can we do more with less? 

Someone said to me recently good directors don't seem to add much. They just take things away. It's so true with performing. If it doesn't serve the script take it away.  First you need to ask everyone to just brain fart. get all ideas then take away what doesn't serve.